ShakespeareanInsultGenerator

/** Every home should have one. The function creates a random insult by combining words from each of three columns. Adapted from the Shakespearean Insult Kit that's floating around the Internet. @name ShakespeareanInsultGenerator @author Mark Banks @requires GetRandomValue {@link http://www.banks.id.au/filemaker/customfunctions/getrandomvalue.html} @return text a shakespearean insult @see http://www.mit.edu:8001/people/dryfoo/Funny-pages/shakespeare-insult-kit.html */ Let ( [ firstColumn = "artless¶bawdy¶beslubbering¶bootless¶churlish¶cockered¶clouted¶craven¶currish¶dankish¶dissembling¶droning¶errant¶fawning¶fobbing¶froward¶frothy¶gleeking¶goatish¶gorbellied¶impertinent¶infectious¶jarring¶loggerheaded¶lumpish¶mammering¶mangled¶mewling¶paunchy¶pribbling¶puking¶puny¶qualling¶rank¶reeky¶roguish¶ruttish¶saucy¶spleeny¶spongy¶surly¶tottering¶unmuzzled¶vain¶venomed¶villainous¶warped¶wayward¶weedy¶yeasty" ; secondColumn = "base-court¶bat-fowling¶beef-witted¶beetle-headed¶boil-brained¶clapper-clawed¶clay-brained¶common-kissing¶crook-pated¶dismal-dreaming¶dizzy-eyed¶doghearted¶dread-bolted¶earth-vexing¶elf-skinned¶fat-kidneyed¶fen-sucked¶flap-mouthed¶fly-bitten¶folly-fallen¶fool-born¶full-gorged¶guts-griping¶half-faced¶hasty-witted¶hedge-born¶hell-hated¶idle-headed¶ill-breeding¶ill-nurtured¶knotty-pated¶milk-livered¶motley-minded¶onion-eyed¶plume-plucked¶pottle-deep¶pox-marked¶reeling-ripe¶rough-hewn¶rude-growing¶rump-fed¶shard-borne¶sheep-biting¶spur-galled¶swag-bellied¶tardy-gaited¶tickle-brained¶toad-spotted¶unchin-snouted¶weather-bitten" ; thirdColumn = "apple-john¶baggage¶barnacle¶bladder¶boar-pig¶bugbear¶bum-bailey¶canker-blossom¶clack-dish¶clotpole¶coxcomb¶codpiece¶death-token¶dewberry¶flap-dragon¶flax-wench¶flirt-gill¶foot-licker¶fustilarian¶giglet¶gudgeon¶haggard¶harpy¶hedge-pig¶horn-beast¶hugger-mugger¶joithead¶lewdster¶lout¶maggot-pie¶malt-worm¶mammet¶measle¶minnow¶miscreant¶moldwarp¶mumble-news¶nut-hook¶pigeon-egg¶pignut¶puttock¶pumpion¶ratsbane¶scut¶skainsmate¶strumpet¶varlot¶vassal¶whey-face¶wagtail" ] ; "Thou " & GetRandomValue ( firstcolumn ) & " " & GetRandomValue ( secondcolumn ) & " " & GetRandomValue ( thirdcolumn ) & "!" )

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© 2009 Mark Banks. Last modified: November 10, 2009